Sunday, October 12, 2014

The Oil of Joy for Mourning

Mineral oil, caster oil, cod liver oil, olive oil, coconut oil, various forms of essential oils...even though they have fallen out of fashion with the advancement of modern medicine, throughout history oil has been a step in the healing process.

The burns on Phillip's arm required something stronger than oil to heal properly, but for the hurting hearts involved the oil of joy flowed in abundance.

I have never been much for "signs and wonders" (I grew up an independent-Baptist after all), but I have always believed that when we need it, God doesn't hesitate to remind us that He is there. That reminder hit Mark full-force when he and Phillip returned from the hospital that night and stopped to see what was left of the house.

There were still a few firemen left, checking for hot spots and whatever else it is they do after a fire, and they walked with Mark through the ashes. As they got closer to Madison's room they saw a red glow in the distance. Thinking it was an ember, they all moved toward it to make sure it got snuffed out. But what they saw...

Earlier that fall we had gone to the Christian Music Festival at Carowinds and Madison had gotten a white, plastic cross necklace that lit up with all kinds of neon colors. Like most things you purchase at those types of events, it didn't last long and within a week or two the batteries had died and it didn't work any longer.

But that night...it glowed. In the midst of the darkness and turmoil and smoke and stink and ash...the light of the cross could not be extinguished.

In fact, it was still glowing late the next afternoon when Mark and Phillip took me through the house after our trip to the Augusta Burn Center. After that, the light went away, but the cross still sits on our mantle...one of the first things moved into this house...our reminder that no matter how bad things might seem, or how impossible the situation, God is always prepared to provide the oil of His joy.

In our day of modern conveniences, we don't take the time to think of something like oil as a symbol of blessing and provision. But God's provision in the story of Elijah and the widow of Zarephath became real to me during this time.

The generosity of the people around us astounded us for weeks. It was never the things or the money that they provided that meant so much, though. It was the love behind those actions.

Even then, the thought of refurnishing a home was overwhelming. Mark and the kids were graciously provided with a place to live (which we have since purchased and is now our permanent home). We moved everything from my apartment that I could live without until the wedding...we even sent my bed and I slept on my tiny, little loveseat until Mark told me I was getting cranky and I borrowed a bed from a co-worker for those last few weeks...but the house still seemed empty.

It seemed like everyday for weeks I'd have a new list...bedding, clothes, hangers, groceries, towels, toiletries, laundry supplies, kitchen supplies...it never seemed to end. Each day I'd warn Mark that I was going to spend some money and it wasn't going to be cheap. He'd raise his eyebrows a little, take a breath, and ask me for my best estimate before telling me to do what I thought was best.

Later that evening I'd tell him about my purchases and go over how much I spent, but by the time I got to that point he'd have opened an envelope or two that came in the mail, or slipped to him at work, or any other of a multitude of sources. It almost never failed that the envelope would contain just about what I spent that day, often even more.

Again, it was not, and will never be about the "things" that people gave to us...it was, and will always be about the never-ending oil of joy that was being poured out on our lives in the midst of the mourning.

He Gives Beauty for Ashes



A year ago this week my life changed. It has changed many times in the months in between, but this was the first in the series of life-altering events. 

October 10, 2013...the second Thursday of the month. According to the meteorologists the day lasted for 11 hours and 22 minutes, but at the time it felt like an eternity. 

My focus, like most days around that time, was on figuring out how I was going to get ready for my wedding that was just 6 weeks away. Madison had a volleyball game in Hampton, so after school was over, Katie and I got in my car and made the 45 minute drive south. I hadn't really missed that drive since moving to Norway, but my car was still registered there and my taxes were due, so the trip served a double purpose. After the game we met Michelle and the kids at McDonalds for supper and then the three of us made the 45 minute drive back home. 

Mark and Phillip had gone to the Norway CHA meeting. When we got close, I called to ask him if he wanted us to wait at his house or my apartment. He told us to go to my apartment and he would pick the girls up when he was done. By the time we finished that conversation, we were passing his house...I looked right at it...that image is still ingrained on my brain...so many times I have been thankful that we didn't stop.

We had only been at my apartment long enough for the bickering over what we would watch on television to stop when Mark called me back...his words were not what I was expecting. It had been a long day and I was anxious to see him, to get one of those hugs that make all the troubles of life go away, or at least momentarily fade from memory. 

"I'm leaving Norway...I'm going to the house...keep the girls...Phillip said the house is on fire."

Those words? No, those were not the words I was expecting to hear.

I think it is a fact (whether it can be proven, or not) that men have no concept of what can go on in the mind of woman. When not given sufficient detail about a situation our minds are more than happy to fill in the gaps with whatever our imagination can create. This is true at 34 and almost-14, Madison's age at the time. She had heard just enough of the conversation to be panicked and it was a battle for the next few minutes to remind her that whatever fear she was experiencing did not need to be passed on to her younger sister.

Then they started...
...from one end of town you could hear them in the distance...
   ...they got louder as they came towards our side of town...
      ...then they faded off again as they raced down Cope Road...
one after another, then a break and a few more...I didn't know Norway had that many fire trucks. 

I didn't find out until later that they don't. When people realized it was Mark's house that was burning, they came from all over the county. They didn't tell the dispatcher they were going so they wouldn't be told to stay put, they just got in the trucks and left. This was the first of many outpourings of love for Mark and his kids that I witnessed.

The anxiety level in my apartment had risen drastically, but Mark told us to stay, so we stayed.

When Mark finally called again, they were still not the words I wanted to hear...

"Phillip is hurt...went into the house to make sure the girls weren't there...has to go to the hospital...wants to see the girls before he leaves to make sure they are okay...can you bring them here?"

That five miles was the longest and shortest drive of my life. I was so anxious to get to Mark that I almost pulled out in front of an ambulance headed to the scene. At the same time I was searching to find the words to explain to a not-quite-8-year-old what was happening and what she might see.