Monday, April 25, 2011

The Negro Burying-Ground


I came across the following poem while doing even more reading/research for my paper. Some of the way things are said would not currently be considered politically-correct, but the sentiment of the poem is beautiful. 

To give you the context, a student at one of the schools operated as part of the Port Royal Experiment got sick and died on Sunday. Monday evening people begin to gather for the burial service and as they are waiting the children, with their school books in hand, begin to the A, B, C's over and over again until the service begins.




The Negro Burying-Ground
William C. Gannett

‘Mid the sunny fist of the cotton-field
Lies an acre of forest-tangle still;
A cloister of dim, where the grey moss waves
And the live-oaks lock their arms at will.

Here in the shadows the slaves would hide
As they dropped the hoe at death’s release,
And leave no sign but a sinking mound
To show where they passed on their way to peace.

This was the Gate – there was none but this –
To a Happy Land where men were men;
And the dusky fugitives, one by one,
Stole in from the bruise of the prison-pen.

When, lo! In the distance boomed the guns,
The bruise was over, and “Massa” had fled!
But Death is the “Massa” that never flees,
And still to the oaks they bore the dead.

‘T was at set of sun; a tattered troop
Of children circled a little grave,
Chanting an anthem rich in its peace
As ever pealed in cathedral-cave, --

The A, B, C, that the lips below
Had learnt with them in the school to shout.
Over and over they sung it slow,
Crooning a mystic meaning out.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, --
Down solemn alphabets they swept:
The oaks leaned close, the moon swung low, --
What strange new sound among them crept?

The holiest hymn that the children knew!
‘T was dreams come real, and heaven come near;
‘T was light, and liberty, and joy,
And “white-folks’ sense,” –and God right here!

Over and over; they dimly felt
This was the charm could make black white,
This was the secret of “Massa’s” pride,
And this, unknown, make the negro’s night.

What could they sing of braver cheer
To speed on his unseen way the friend?
The children were facing the mystery Death
With the deepest prayer that their hearts could send.

Children, too, and the mysteries last!
We are but comrades with them there, --
Stammering over a meaning vast,
Crooning our guesses of how and where.

But the children were right with their A, B, C;
In our stammering guess so much we say!
The singers were happy, and so were we:
Deep as our wants are the prayers we pray.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Afraid to Go Home

We all have those moments from our childhood that we will never forget. I still clearly remember one of those days from third or fourth grade...

I had gone next door to see if my friend wanted to come outside to play and instead was asked to see the results of a recent shopping trip. I went inside knowing I shouldn't because my parents had a rule about not entering anyone else's house without their permission. I went inside thinking I would be done quickly and back home before my parents knew any better. Time slipped by faster than I had anticipated and I soon realized that when I got home I would probably be in trouble. At that point I had a choice to make...I could go home and face the consequences or I could continue to pretend everything was okay and postpone the inevitable. Of course, like most kids, I chose to stick around a little longer and by the time I got home my parents were more than a little upset =/ .
There is nothing half so pleasant as coming home again.
Home is the place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to.
Home is not where you live, but where they understand you.
The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.
The English lexicon is full of quotations and sayings about home: being home, leaving home, loving home, missing home. Home is one of those words that fills us with comfort and hope at what it stands for, even if you didn't get to experience it in actuality. Home is something we long for...unless there is something waiting for us that we don't want to experience (in the case of my childhood-self, the punishment for disobedience).

Living so far away from all that I know best provides many opportunities for homesickness. The end of each school year and the beginning of each break is met with the urgent desire to return home

But the last few weeks I've experienced a feeling I've never experienced before...a fear of going home. 

Last year my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer, you may have read about that here or here. A cancer of the blood that causes anemia and severely weakens the bones. We knew when he was diagnosed that there would be no cure. That the most we could hope for was a treatment that would slow the progression of the cancer and ease any pain he experienced. The chemo made him sick and it was quickly decided that the benefits weren't worth the suffering.
Being so far away has provided a distance from whole situation (I recently referred to it as my 600-mile buffer). I haven't been around to watch the slow progression from the energetic, unstoppable man of my memories to the mere shadow that now exists.

Staying away made it easier to pretend that one of the people I love most in this world is not slipping into the next. Staying away was easier on me. Staying away was giving into the fear.

There is a book I have shared with each of my classes for the last three years in which the main character is told that the best choice is the one of love and the worst one is the one of fear.

Seeing the tears in my grandfather's eyes yesterday and smile on his face confirmed that I made the right choice...it was time to come home.



Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Poor Rosy

I was doing some research/reading Sunday afternoon and came across this account in a letter:
One woman - a respectable house-servant, who had lost all but one of her twenty-two children - said to me: "Pahaw! don't har to dese yer chil'en, misse. Dey just rattles it off, -dey don't know how for sing it. I likes "Poor Rosy" better dan all de songs, but can't be sung widout a full heart and a troubled sperrit!"
 Being the curious soul that I am, I had to see if I could find the words to the song...I love Google!
1.      Poor Rosy, poor gal,
Poor Rosy, poor gal,
Rosy break my poor heart,
          Heav’n shall-a be my home,
I cannot stay in hell one day,
          Heav’n shall-a be my home,
I’ll sing and pray my soul a-way,
          Heav’n shall-a be my home.

2.     Got hard trial in my way,
Got hard trial in my way,
Got hard trial in my way,
          Heav’n shall-a be my home.
O when I talk, I talk wid God,
          Heav’n shall-a be my home.
O when I talk, I talk wid God,
          Heav’n shall-a be my home.

3.     I dunno what de people want of me,
I dunno what de people want of me,
I dunno what de people want of me
          Heav’n shall-a be my home.
I dunno what de people want of me
          Heav’n shall-a be my home.
I dunno what de people want of me
          Heav’n shall-a be my home.